Sex for teenagers is perhaps one of the most crucial yet challenging areas parents face when raising their children. There have been several cases when such matters have marred the perfect relationships some parents once had with their kids. Often, the case is that parents and their teens have differing opinions on the subject matter. And since this is a delicate issue, it can have a long-term effect on your child’s sensuality growing up. If your child is sexually active and you are worried about his or her sensual life, drive, and behaviours as a young teenager, then you’ve come to the right place at the right time, of course. In this article, I’ll break down the sex education you’ll need to end your child’s unsafe lovemaking practices. And don’t worry about setting rules for your teens; instead, you’ll be the one to take on the responsibility.
As much as this may seem disturbing, the reality is that teen sex has become a trivialized and transactional practice in modern society. Teens don’t see anything wrong with it, regardless of the practice, method, or behaviour. To them, sex is sex, and having intercourse with their crush or BFs makes them feel good. After all, our brain and body are designed to enjoy pleasure from having such intercourse.
And yeah, premarital sex is the trend nowadays, and it’s not looking like it will change soon. Young guys and ladies are always under pressure to get laid via social media and even by their peers. Some even boast of their successful bed counts, make ridiculous bets, and partake in outrageous games.
Now, you’re probably wondering about what you can do to help your kids stay safe. But I’m here to tell you that you can do more can help and actively guide your teen’s lovemaking life.
So, what can you do?! What should you and should not do?
#1 Healthy sex convos: Set the foundation for having healthy sex conversations with your teens. If you haven’t, now is the time. And it is not enough to have a one-time convo with your teen and think that everything will turn out as expected. And that’s not often the case.
Sex can be a complicated issue. So you should ensure that you communicate with your teens about such matters from time to time. Sexual education is an ongoing conversation. And it would be best if you had as many talks as possible.
But don’t mistake this to mean interview sessions with your kids to pressure them about their secrets or history. Prioritize a more relaxed and information conversation like a small chat. It is logical that teens who chat with their parents about sex are more likely to have safe sex. Yes, make them know that it is a big deal and should be talked about.
And teenage years are the best time to have such conversations that will have a significant impact. So, you should create the time to have frequent interactions about safe intercourse with your kids, including dating and friendship. And it’s not too late to do this.
Don’t be afraid to raise these kinds of discussions during family sessions or dinners when everyone is relaxed. Be honest with your kids about your thoughts and concerns, and ensure that they confide in you and your frequent talks on such matters. By opening up and being accessible, some parents have realized some previous assaults and harassments experienced by their kids. And they were able to take the necessary rehabilitative steps.
A problem shared is a problem half-solved.
#2 Understand your kids: Your kid is your responsibility, and you have to do your homework. You need to investigate and understand your children’s lovemaking preferences and behaviours. Just like the cases in medicine, before you can carry out treatment, you need to diagnose the ailment to know what’s wrong and what to do.
For instance, if your kid is LGBTQIA, you’ll know how to support them and experts to meet on how to ensure your child has a safe LGBTQIA lifestyle.
You can do this by researching specific lovemaking behaviours, preferences, traits, and their correlation to your child’s experiences. You can also help manage your kid’s sensuality by investigating the factors contributing to such behaviours or lifestyles. Sometimes, teens delve into unsafe intercourse practices due to peer pressure, low self-esteem, alcohol, or even drugs.
You should also know that unsafe intercourse can go hand-in-hand with alcohol and drug abuse, so you might also need to watch their substance abuse issues. And if you help them manage these issues, you’ll have taken a step further in guiding their safe sex life.
Other times, they may pick such behaviours from their immediate family members, including yourself and your spouse. Be careful with the kind of impressions you make when you spend time with your spouse.
Knowledge is power.
#3 Invest in your child’s safe sex education and practice: As a parent, you should know that it takes a village, and you alone can’t effectively train your child on every matter. More so, this kind of delicate issue.
So, you should be ready to invest in your child’s sex education. This can be anything; education books, movies, classes, and therapy sessions.
Ensure you provide the necessary resources to help your teens understand the sensual phase they’re going through. Also, you can book appointments with therapists on their behalf and pay for their health check-ups.
The more your kids understand the inner workings of their sensual preferences and behaviours, the more they’ll feel more in control. And this control can help manage other devastating consequences of related unsafe practices such as addiction, drugs, STDs, and unwanted pregnancies. These can also lead to other problems like psychological disorders, distractions, sex crimes, and abortion complications.
This education is important for your kids to learn, unlearn, and relearn safe sex practices.
#4 Engage your kids in meaningful activities: As the saying goes, the idle hand is the devil’s workshop. As a parent, you need to engage your young ones in productive teenage activities actively. You can do this, especially when they are on holiday and probably staying indoors more often.
For example, you can engage in social activities and community projects that make them feel good and loved. After all, there are several other ways to show affection.
The idea is to let them bond with persons within their preferred sex group on a non-sensual basis. In the end, this approach will help debunk their thinking that they can only feel good after they’ve made love.
It will also help you measure if your kids can control their sensual urges or are addicted. So you’ll be able to make informed decisions on what next to do – therapy!
#5 Be Proactive, Be Reactive: If in extreme cases, your kid is showing signs of extreme sexual drive and behaviours, then you may have to go on the offensive. If your kid is on a sex spree and is not reacting to your proactive methods, you may have to employ a reactive approach.
Here, you can even buy condoms for your kids to ensure that they are one step ahead of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Alternatively, you can hook your kids up on dates and relationships with familiar people and people you can easily track or reach out to.
Here, the strategy is to at least control how and with whom your child has intercourse. And where you cannot directly guide your child’s sex life, you can indirectly do so through a trusted relationship.
Flexibility is key!
#6 Don’t compartmentalize sex: The mistake some parents make is to think that safe sex only applies to their young teenage girls. But they forget that it applies to both genders, and issues like STDs, addictions, crimes, and unwanted pregnancies may arise.
Teenage issues such as this should not be a matter of gender or stereotype. While no one is saying you shouldn’t be protective of your sons and daughters, it is unfair to set different standards for boy and girl sensual activities.
#7 Don’t assume: Most parents want to think that their teens are not having intercourse or attempting to. And as normal as that can be, our human nature is not program to always look the other way when it comes to such issues. Human desires and urges are often driven by hormones, and in this case, they are the testosterone and estrogen in males and females, respectively.
And it’ll interest you to know that these hormones are often hyperactive in some teens. So, don’t assume your teens are not having intercourse or at least thinking about it or planning to.
Take positive action!
#8 Don’t base safe sex education on cultural and religious contexts: If you are a parent that has attempted to resolve your teen’s lovemaking issues by making cultural or religious analogies, you are in a 50-50 position. Though some parents may be lucky to have a child that agrees with their cultural and religious values, others may not be as lucky.
Yes, not every teen will have intercourse while growing up, but you’ll be taking huge risks thinking their home-training and religious background is more than enough.
I hate to break it to you, but a vast majority of teens will probably have intercourse at some point. Don’t base your child’s lovemaking issues entirely on cultural and religious assumptions that they will abstain from premarital intercourse and maintain their virginity.
Do more about the psychological and biological contexts.
#9 Don’t shy away from your child’s safe-sex education: “But they teach these things in schools,” ”but I’m a single parent, and I’m busy working hard to ensure my kids enjoy the best life has to offer,” and several other reasons.
Well, “but you should know that while these may be legitimate reasons and logical excuses, they do not reduce the fact that teens still need that parental guide to make good choices.”
Sex education may be taught in classrooms, but sex education is incomplete if not reinforced in the home. You may work hard to provide for all your children’s basic needs, but an unsafe sex life can mar all the good work. So make time to put all you’ve learned in this article to work.